My Anger is Better Than Your Anger
Do you “fly off the handle” often — and then blame others for getting you angry?
Do you feel like your anger is justified, but others just don’t seem to understand?
Well, I’m calling BullSh*t on that…
Your anger is out of control and it’s bringing you down.
Here’s something that may sting for a bit , but it’ll definitely help you— my anger is better than your anger.
That’s right, you heard me. My anger is top-notch — A+ anger.
I can already hear you scoffing. And why is that, you may ask?
Because I express my anger in healthy ways.
That’s right — no throwing things, no yelling obscenities, no passive-aggressive comments. Just good old-fashioned healthy anger expression.
And let me tell you, it feels great. So buckle up, my friend, because I’m about to take you on a journey of healthy anger expression and why it’s so much better than any way you’re showing your anger now.
Healthy Anger WTF?
You might be thinking, “Anger? Healthy? Isn’t anger a negative emotion?”
Well, it’s time to change your thinking about your anger — because healthy anger is a positive thing. Showing your anger in healthy ways can help you stay in emotional control for clearer thinking and will help improve your relationships.
In fact, there are a ton of benefits for you in expressing healthy anger.
So, let’s break it down.
First of all, let’s talk about what healthy anger actually is. Healthy anger is when you express your feelings of frustration or annoyance in a way that is respectful and doesn’t cause harm to yourself or others.
Your anger is a signal. A signal that there’s something that you need. You can get those needs met in healthy ways that will bring you closer to the people around you.
It’s important to note that healthy anger is the exact opposite of aggression or violence. So, if you’re about to punch a wall or yell at someone, slow your roll — and take a deep breath. That’s not healthy anger, my friend.
Now that we’re starting to focus on what healthy anger is — let’s dive into the benefits. There are a lot of positive outcomes of expressing healthy anger, and you have the power to learn better ways to be angry.
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Benefit #1: Improved Communication
When you express your feelings of frustration or annoyance in an assertive and respectful way, it can actually improve your communication skills.
For example, let’s say you’re at work and a coworker keeps interrupting you during a meeting. Instead of bottling up your anger and letting it fester, you could say something like, “Excuse me, I’d like to finish my thought before we move on to the next topic.”
By expressing your frustration in a respectful way, you’re setting a boundary and communicating your needs clearly.
Benefit #2: Increased Self-Confidence
Expressing healthy anger can also increase your self-confidence.
When you stand up for yourself and assert your needs, you’re sending a message to yourself and others that you deserve respect.
For example, let’s say you’re in a romantic relationship and your partner keeps canceling plans at the last minute. Instead of letting it slide and feeling resentful, you could say something like, “I understand that things come up, but I need more consistency in our plans.”
By expressing your needs, you’re showing yourself that you value your time and deserve to be treated with respect.
Benefit #3: Reduced Stress
Bottling up your anger can lead to increased stress levels — which can have negative impacts on your physical and mental health.
By expressing your anger in a healthy way, you’re releasing that pent-up tension and reducing your stress levels — releasing your angry energy.
For example, let’s say you’re stuck in traffic and you’re running late for an appointment. Instead of yelling and honking your horn, you could take some deep breaths and remind yourself that getting angry won’t change the situation — and will only make you feel worse.
By accepting the situation and expressing your frustration in a healthy way — maybe listening to music or a podcast to pass the time — you’re reducing your stress levels and taking care of your mental health.
Benefit #4: Improved Relationships
Expressing healthy anger can also improve your relationships with others.
When you communicate your needs and boundaries clearly, you’re setting the stage for healthy and respectful relationships.
For example, let’s say you’re in a friendship and your friend keeps making insensitive comments about your appearance. Instead of brushing it off or getting defensive, you could say something like, “I appreciate your concern, but comments about my appearance make me feel uncomfortable. Can we talk about something else?”
By expressing your feelings in a respectful way, you’re showing your friend that you value the relationship and expect to be treated with respect.
Benefit #5: Increased Emotional Intelligence
Expressing healthy anger can also increase your emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize, understand, and manage your own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.
When you express your anger in a healthy way, you’re practicing self-awareness and self-regulation — which are key components of emotional intelligence.
For example, let’s say you’re in a situation where someone is trying to take advantage of you. Instead of getting angry and lashing out, you could take a step back and assess the situation. By recognizing your emotions and managing them in a healthy way, you’re demonstrating emotional intelligence.
Benefit #6: Increased Productivity
Expressing healthy anger can also increase your productivity.
When you’re feeling frustrated or annoyed, it can be difficult to focus on the task at hand. By expressing your anger in a healthy way, you’re releasing that tension and allowing yourself to better focus on what you’re doing or trying to accomplish.
For example, let’s say you’re working on a project and you keep getting interrupted by a coworker. Instead of bottling up your frustration and losing your focus, you could say something like, “I’m working on a tight deadline, can we catch up later?”
By expressing your needs in a respectful way, you’re setting boundaries and allowing yourself to be more productive.
Benefit #7: Increased Authenticity
Healthier anger expression can increase your authenticity.
Authenticity is the quality of being true to yourself and your values. When you express your anger in a healthy way, you’re showing the world who you really are and what you stand for.
For example, let’s say you’re in a situation where someone is making racist or sexist comments. Instead of staying silent or laughing along, you could say something like, “I find those comments offensive and I won’t tolerate them.”
By standing up for your values and expressing your anger in a healthy way, you’re demonstrating authenticity.
Benefit #8: Improved Problem-Solving Skills
Expressing healthy anger and respectfully resolving conflicts can also improve your problem-solving skills.
You stay in a clearer state of mind when you’re less emotional — including when you’re angry.
When you’re faced with a conflict, it requires you to think critically and come up with a solution that works for everyone involved. By practicing conflict resolution and expressing your anger in a healthy way, you’re developing your problem-solving skills and learning how to approach difficult situations in a productive way.
For example, let’s say you and a coworker are disagreeing about the best way to approach a project. Instead of getting defensive and shutting down, you could listen to their perspective and work together to come up with a solution that takes both viewpoints into account.
By working together to solve the problem, you’re improving your problem-solving skills and building a stronger relationship with your coworker.
Expressing healthy anger can have a ton of positive outcomes. From improved communication to increased authenticity, there are a lot of benefits to expressing your frustration or annoyance in a respectful way.
So, the next time you’re feeling angry, take a step back, take a deep breath, and express yourself in a way that is healthy and respectful. Your mental and physical health — as well as your relationships with others — will thank you.
Are you ready to take control of your thoughts and crush your negative thinking?
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