How to Train Your Brain to Have More Self Confidence

Have you ever wished you could walk into a room with the confidence of Beyoncé or “The Rock” Duane Johnson? Can you have that swagger?

Or do you struggle with feelings of self-doubt and low self-esteem? Well, if that’s the case — you’re not alone.

Many people struggle with lack of self confidence — whether it’s personally or professionally.

Good news! Self confidence isn’t something you’re born with — it’s something you can train your brain to develop.

Meet your Lizard Brain

You have a part of your brain that’s similar to reptiles. It’s the oldest part of your brain — it started forming even before you were born — that is reactive and reflexive without thought or feeling.

Just like a reptile. And it’s always looking for danger.

It’s called the Amygdala and it’s part of your subconscious brain. It makes you think, say and do things in “knee-jerk” fashion —primal instincts — without considering consequences or impact.

It’s often referred to as your Lizard Brain.

Your Lizard Brain becomes over-activated when you’re stressed — which then reduces activity in your Thinking Brain. And triggers your stress response system — causing a reaction of fight, flight or freeze.

The more emotional you get — the dumber you become! And much less self-confident.

The problem is that your Lizard Brain can’t distinguish between a real threat and a perceived threat.

So, when you experience something that triggers your stress and anxiety — like public speaking or meeting new people — your Lizard Brain roars and kicks into high gear, flooding your body with cortisol and adrenaline.

This causes physical reactions — your heart starts beating faster, you start to sweat and perhaps shake or get muscle tension.

Now you feel even more anxious and self-conscious.

To build self confidence, you need to learn how to calm your Lizard Brain, override your primal instincts, and boost activation of your Thinking Brain.

How to Calm the Lizard

One way to calm your Lizard Brain is through deep breathing.

When you’re anxious, your breathing becomes shallow — which can increase your feelings of panic. Taking slow, deep breaths can help regulate your breathing and calm your nervous system.

In the heat of a stressful moment you can take just one or two deep intentional belly breaths — all the way down to your diaphragm — and your mind and body will quickly get calmer.

Here are some different intentional breathing techniques:

1. Deep breathing is a simple exercise that involves taking deep, slow breaths. Sit or lie down in a comfortable position, and breathe in deeply through your nose for a count of four. Hold the breath for a count of four, and then exhale slowly through your mouth for a count of six.
2. Belly breathing involves breathing deeply into your belly, rather than your chest. Place one hand on your belly, and inhale deeply, feeling your belly expand. Exhale slowly, feeling your belly contract. Repeat this cycle several times, focusing on the sensation of your breath as it enters and leaves your body.
3. Box breathing involves breathing in for a count of four, holding for a count of four, exhaling for a count of four, and holding for a count of four. Repeat this cycle several times, focusing on the sensation of your breath as it enters and leaves your body.
4. Alternate nostril breathing is when you use your fingers to block one nostril at a time as you inhale and exhale. Start by blocking your right nostril with your right thumb, and inhale through your left nostril. Hold the breath, then block your left nostril with your right ring finger and exhale through your right nostril. Inhale through your right nostril, hold the breath, then exhale through your left nostril. Repeat this cycle several times.
5. 4–7–8 breathing involves inhaling for a count of four, holding for a count of seven, and exhaling for a count of eight. Repeat this cycle several times, focusing on the sensation of your breath as it enters and leaves your body.

The extended exhale time in many of these breathing exercises will help to quickly calm your nervous system and be better able to focus on your goals and how to achieve them.

Use your Creative Brain

Another technique to help you quiet your Lizard Brain is visualization.

Visualization — or mental imagery — is a technique that involves creating vivid mental images of a desired outcome or experience.

Visualization will improve your self-confidence and self-esteem.

By visualizing yourself successfully achieving a goal or overcoming a challenge, you can boost your sense of self-efficacy and belief in your abilities.

It’s a workout for your subconscious brain.

There are several other benefits to visualization that will help build your self confidence:

1. Improved performance: Visualizing a task or activity before doing it can improve your performance. This is because mental imagery activates many of the same brain regions as actual performance, helping to reinforce neural pathways and improve muscle memory.
2. Reduced anxiety: Visualization can be a powerful tool for reducing your anxiety and stress. By visualizing a calm and peaceful setting or imagining yourself successfully handling a stressful situation, you can reduce feelings of anxiety and promote relaxation.
3. Increased motivation: Visualization can also increase motivation and drive. By imagining yourself achieving a goal or experiencing a desired outcome, you can create a sense of excitement and enthusiasm that can drive you towards success.
4. Enhanced creativity: Visualization can also enhance your creativity and problem-solving abilities. By visualizing different scenarios and possibilities — brain storming and letting your mind go free to create and innovate — you can generate new ideas and approaches to challenges.

Daily Mindfulness

Your Lizard Brain doesn’t like when you’re focused on the present moment and not ruminating about the past or future.

Using mindfulness, you can train your brain to be more aware and less reactive to your aroused Lizard Brain.

Mindfulness is a powerful technique for quieting your Lizard Brain and reducing your anxiety and stress. You can become more aware of your thoughts and emotions — and learn to observe them without judgment.

This helps you “slow your roll” and step back from your automatic reactions. This way you can respond to situations more calmly and rationally.

Mindfulness:

• helps you become more aware of your thoughts. When you’re caught up in your thoughts and emotions, it can be difficult to see them clearly. With daily mindfulness, you learn to observe your thoughts and emotions — without getting caught up in them. This can help you recognize when your Lizard Brain is triggering a fight-or-flight response, and to respond more calmly and rationally.
• helps you stay in the present moment. Your Lizard Brain is often triggered by fears and worries about the future or regrets about the past. By staying in the present moment, you can reduce the power of these thoughts and prevent them from taking over your mind.
• helps you respond rather than react. When you’re caught up in the fight-or-flight response, you tend to react automatically and impulsively. You can learn to pause and respond more thoughtfully and intentionally. This can help you make better decisions and reduce your stress level.

You can incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine. You can practice mindful eating, showering, walking, and any other daily activity.

Overcoming Self-Doubt

It’s your Lizard Brain that’s causing all of your negative thinking — including self doubt.

Quieting your Lizard Brain will calm that screaming voice inside your head.

Self-doubt is that annoying and toxic voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough, smart enough, or talented enough.

It’s the inner critic that can sabotage your confidence and hold you back from achieving your goals.

You can train your brain to overcome your self doubt:

1. Challenge negative self-talk: Notice when you’re engaging in negative self-talk, and challenge it with positive affirmations. You can form positive mantras — short phrases to recall and recite to yourself to change your inner critic. For example, if you catch yourself thinking “I’m not good enough,” replace that thought with “I can work hard to achieve my goal.”
2. Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you would offer to a good friend. Acknowledge your feelings of self-doubt without judging or criticizing yourself. Remember that it’s okay to make mistakes, and that failure is a natural part of the learning process.
3. Focus on your strengths: Make a list of your strengths and accomplishments — actually write it down — and refer to it when you’re feeling self-doubt. Remind yourself of all the things you’re good at, and celebrate your achievements. This will help release more positive brain chemicals.
4. Take action: Often, self-doubt can be overcome by taking action and proving to yourself that you’re capable of success. Start with small steps and build your confidence over time. Your small wins will help you build your self confidence for bigger challenges.
5. Surround yourself with supportive people: Spend time with people who believe in you and encourage you to pursue your goals. These are the peeps you can be your authentic self around. Avoid spending time with people who are negative or critical — and who are constantly judging you — as they’ll reinforce your feelings of self-doubt.

Building Self-Esteem

To build your self confidence, you need to build your self-esteem. Self-esteem is your belief in your worth and value as a person. It’s to what extent you feel “lovable” and “capable.” It’s how you view yourself, the world around you and your part in it.

When you have high self-esteem, you’re more likely to take risks, pursue your goals, and bounce back from setbacks. That will boost your self confidence.

Building self-esteem can be a lifelong journey, but there are several things you can do to start improving your self-esteem today (some are similar to other strategies listed above):

1. Practice self-care. Taking care of yourself is an important part of building your self-esteem. Make sure to get enough sleep, eat a healthy diet, and exercise regularly. Treat yourself with kindness and compassion, and engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself. Add daily self-care to your schedule. Find ways to take 10 or 15 minutes to do something for yourself.
2. Set achievable goals. Setting and achieving goals can be a great way to boost your self-esteem. Start with small goals and work your way up to bigger ones. Small wins matter — celebrate your accomplishments along the way, no matter how small they may seem.
3. Surround yourself with positivity. Spend time with people who are positive and supportive, and avoid people who bring you down. Who do you feel emotionally safe with? Surround yourself with uplifting quotes, affirmations, and other reminders of your worth and value.
4. Challenge negative self-talk. Notice when you’re engaging in negative self-talk, and challenge those thoughts with positive affirmations. For example, if you catch yourself thinking “I’m not good enough,” replace that thought with “I’m gonna work hard and I got this!”
5. Volunteer or help others: Helping others can be a great way to feel good about yourself and build self-esteem. Feel-good hormones are released in your brain and body when you connect with others — especially in a charitable way. So it helps them and it helps you. Volunteer for a cause you care about, or simply do something kind for someone else.

“I believe the greatest gift you can give yourself is a little bit of your own attention.” — Oprah Winfrey

“Confidence is everything. Confidence is what makes that simple white tee and jeans look good.” — Ciara

“The most important thing is to believe in yourself and know that you can do it.” — Serena Williams

“Success is most often achieved by those who don’t know that failure is inevitable.” — Coco Chanel

You can train your brain to boost your self confidence. Start by calming your Lizard Brain, overcoming self-doubt, and building your self-esteem.

Remember to be patient and kind to yourself as you work on building your confidence. It’s a journey — not a destination. And your confidence grows, you’ll be amazed at what you can achieve.

So go out there and be confident — like Beyoncé or The Rock. You got this!

Don’t let your negative thinking hold you back any longer.

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