How to Cure The Plague of Your People-Pleasing
It’s starts with healing your childhood trauma.
Growing up, Emily’s childhood was anything but idyllic.
Her parents were constantly fighting and her father was emotionally and physically abusive towards her mother. Emily’s mother was often too preoccupied and exhausted to attend to her emotional needs — leaving Emily feeling invisible and alone.
As a result of her traumatic upbringing, Emily learned to put the needs and wants of others before her own.
She constantly sought the approval and validation of those around her — always going out of her way to please her friends, family and even strangers. She never spoke up for herself, always saying yes to every request — no matter how inconvenient or uncomfortable it made her feel.
As she grew older, Emily’s people-pleasing habits became increasingly ingrained and she found it harder and harder to break free from the cycle.
She constantly felt drained — both physically and emotionally — but couldn’t bring herself to say no to anyone. She had a hard time building healthy relationships and often felt used and taken advantage of.
One day, Emily realized that she couldn’t continue living her life this way. She knew that she needed to take control of her own happiness and well-being. She began to understand the connection between her childhood trauma and her people-pleasing habits.
Emily was able to work through her past traumas and learn how to set boundaries, prioritize her own needs, and communicate her feelings in a healthy way.
She realized that she didn’t need to constantly seek external validation and that her worth as a person was not based on her ability to please others.
Emily’s journey was not an easy one — but with time, patience and hard work, she was able to break free from the cycle of people-pleasing.
She learned to love and accept herself and built healthy and fulfilling relationships with the people around her.
Are you a people-pleaser?
People-pleasing is a common behavior that many of us struggle with in our daily lives.
It’s a habit that can seem innocent enough at first glance, but when you take a closer look, you may find that it’s rooted in deeper issues, such as your childhood trauma.
Growing up, you have certain needs that must be met in order for you to develop into a healthy adult. These needs include love, attention, validation, and a sense of safety.
However, for some, these needs may not have been met.
And this can lead to a pattern of people-pleasing as a way to gain the approval and validation that you may have missed out on in the past.
And it may be because of adversity you experienced as a child.
Adverse childhood experiences
Childhood trauma can take many forms, from physical and emotional abuse to neglect.
If you’ve experienced childhood trauma, seeking approval and validation from others can become a way of survival. It can be a way to ensure that you aren’t hurt or rejected again.
When you constantly seeking approval and validation from others, you may find yourself neglecting your own needs and wants. You may prioritize the needs of others over your own, which means you may feel drained, anxious and depressed.
This can be a dangerous cycle for you to get caught in — as it can lead to a lack of self-worth and self-esteem.
You can break free from this cycle by learning how to prioritize your own needs.
This may be a challenge for you — especially when you’ve been programmed to put the needs of others before your own for so long.
It’s crucial for your mental and emotional well-being.
Your healing is self-directed
In order to start prioritizing your own needs, it’s important to first recognize and understand the connection between your people-pleasing behavior and your childhood trauma.
This can be done through self-education, coaching and, perhaps, therapy.
You need new tools to set boundaries and communicate your needs in healthy ways.
You also have to learn to let go of the need for external validation.
Your worth as a person is not based on how well you please others. It’s important to remember that you’re worthy and deserving of love and happiness — regardless of what others may think or say.
Breaking free from the cycle of people-pleasing can be a difficult and challenging journey, but it’ll help you feel more confident and secure.
By understanding the connection between your childhood trauma and your people-pleasing behaviors, you can start to make positive changes in your lives.
You can learn to love and accept yourself, and build healthy and fulfilling relationships with the people around you.
Your people-pleasing is a complex behavior that can be rooted in your childhood trauma. It’s a way for you to gain the approval and validation that you may have missed out on in the past. However, it may cause you to neglect your needs and give you a feeling of low self-worth.
To break free from this cycle, it’s important to understand the connection, prioritize your needs, set boundaries and communicate them in a healthy way and let go of your need for external validation.
By taking these steps, you can begin to build a life that is fulfilling and true to yourself.
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