3 Sneaky Ways to Practice Your New Communication Skills
The way you communicate to and with those around you is vital to how happy and connected you feel.
You need to have healthy and effective communication to succeed in today’s world — yet it always remains a challenge.
One on one. Groups. Personal. Professional.
Healthy communication will help deepen all of your relationships and help you achieve all of your hopes and dreams.
Whether it’s presenting in front of a large group or simply having a conversation with a friend (or even a stranger), the ability to communicate clearly and confidently can make all the difference for you.
Whether you’re in the workplace, interacting with friends and family, or navigating a new social situation, the ability to communicate effectively can make all the difference.
“The brain is a social organ, and our ability to communicate with others is the foundation of healthy brain function.” — Dr. Daniel Siegel
However, simply learning communication skills isn’t enough — and it’s not even always easy to learn and master new skills.. To truly become proficient, you need to practice those skills regularly.
Why Practice Is Important
Let’s say you want to be a better listener. Or you want to express yourself without begin passive, aggressive or passive-aggressive.
You’re gonna need to learn the new skills and then practice.
“It’s not the will to win that matters — everyone has that. It’s the will to prepare to win that matters.” — Paul “Bear” Bryant, former college football coach
Practice is important for several reasons.
First, it helps you to become more comfortable with your new communication skills. The more you practice, the more natural those skills will become.
It may take your brain some time to integrate and master new skills.
Your brain is like a big city with lots of roads and highways. When you learn something new — like how to ride a bike — your brain creates a new road to that information. But the road is bumpy at first, and it takes a lot of effort to ride your bike without falling.
Now, imagine you keep riding your bike every day. The more you ride, the smoother the road becomes because your brain learns to master the path.
Eventually, with enough practice, the road becomes so smooth and fast that you can ride your bike without even thinking about it. It becomes a habit — like brushing your teeth every day.
This is also true for learning healthy communication skills — active listening, positive affirmations, assertive statements, and more.
Also, practicing a new skills allows you to identify areas where you may still need improvement. By practicing regularly, you can continue to refine and improve your communication skills over time.
Here some sneaky ways to practice — and master — any new communication skills:
Sneaky Way #1: Practice With Strangers
One sneaky way to practice your new and improved communication skills is to practice with strangers.
This can be as simple as striking up a conversation with someone in line at the grocery store or asking for directions on the street.
By practicing with strangers, you’ll be able to practice your communication skills in a low-risk, low-stakes situation. You’ll also be able to get feedback from someone who doesn’t know you well — or at all — which can be valuable in identifying areas where you may still need improvement.
By practicing with strangers, you can gather the courage to try some new ways of connecting and not be as emotionally impacted during the trial-and-error phases of learning something new.
You can even plan and take a field trip — designed especially to boost your new communication skills.
I have a friend who was having trouble speaking up for herself when she was unhappy with her order for some reason when dining out, so we went to to coffee shop a couple of towns away where no one knew us and she ordered some coffee — with the pre-determined intention of sending it back for a “made-up” complaint.
We started there and she also practiced at other coffee shops, too. (We always eventually paid for BOTH cups of coffee after the rehearsal was over).
She was able to develop the assertiveness to speak up for herself at times when she felt something was unjust or unfair.
Sneaky Way #2: Record Yourself
Another sneaky way to practice your new communication skills is to record yourself — both audio and video. This can be done right on your smartphone.
By recording yourself, you’ll be able to review your communication skills — both verbal and non-verbal — and identify areas where you may still need improvement.
You can first focus on your non-verbal communication —posture, tone of voice, facial gestures, pacing of your words, hand movements— you can see you as the listener would see you.
Then you can listen to the words you use and your tone and inflection of those words.
You want to be as natural as possible. It may be challenging to capture the same pacing and energy as if you were talking with someone else. To remedy this, you can record yourself while responding to someone else — a friend or family member that’s willing to help.
Those same friends or family members can also listening to the recording and provide additional feedback.
Sneaky Way #3: Role Play With Friends
A third sneaky way to practice your new communication skills is to role play with friends.
This can be as simple as practicing a job interview or a difficult conversation with a friend.
Role playing is an incredibly valuable tool for practicing your new communication skills. By engaging in role play scenarios, you can develop and refine your ability to effectively communicate with others in a variety of contexts.
Role playing:
- Provides a safe environment — allowing you to practice your communication skills in a safe, low-stakes environment. This can help you feel more comfortable and confident when communicating in real-life situations.
- Increases your self-awareness. Through role playing, you can become more aware of your own communication style and habits. This increased self-awareness can help you identify areas for improvement and develop strategies for effective communication.
- Helps you build empathy. Role playing can help you develop empathy for others by allowing you to see situations from another person’s perspective. This can help you become more skilled at communicating with people from diverse backgrounds and with different communication styles.
- Encourages your creativity. Role playing allows you to think creatively and outside the box when it comes to communication. By practicing different scenarios, you can develop new and innovative ways to effectively communicate your ideas and feelings.
- Improves your confidence As you become more skilled at role playing, you can develop greater confidence in your ability to communicate effectively. This increased confidence can translate into better communication skills in real-life situations.
Overall, role playing is an excellent way to practice and develop your communication skills.
But this always feel so weird though, right? Role playing different situations feels contrived and insincere.
Keep at it. The more you role play the situations you face, the more your mind and body will be ready when they happen in real time.
Your ability to communicate effectively can help you build deeper connections and achieve your goals.
So don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone, practice your communication skills, and embrace your power of effective communication.
Remember, every great communicator was once a beginner who was willing to take the first step of learning new habits.
With practice and persistence, you too can become a skilled communicator who is capable of making a positive impact on the world.
The Healthy Communication Skills for You to Practice
- Active Listening — listening to understand, rather than listening to respond should be your goal when someone is sharing something with you. And regardless of whether you like or agree with what the other person is saying — healthy listening is pausing your thoughts and accepting that’s what they’re thinking or how they’re feeling in that moment.
- Assertive Statements — You can communicate what you are thinking or feeling in the moment without being passive, aggressive or passive-aggressive. Being assertive means being calm, clear and direct without a lot of emotional charge or distortion — describe the facts of the situation, how you are feeling about it and how you want the other person to react.
- Affirmations — Affirming yourself and others is a skill. You can avoid “global” affirmations like, “good job” or “amazing perspective.” Rather, you should be specific and timely in your affirming. Where most times affirmations are for traits and accomplishments, you can learn to affirm for lots of other things like struggles, effort and intention. “That’s amazing that you stayed so calm as she was yelling at you.”
- Question sensitivity — Questions aren’t just about gathering information. They can be loaded with other thoughts, feelings, intentions and judgments. When someone is sharing something with you, if you pummel them with a lot of questions — that will knock them off their thought process and shift the conversation to your need to know whatever, rather than stay focused on them and what they’re experiencing.
Don’t let your negative thinking hold you back any longer.
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